Self-Esteem Case

Malcolm S. Forbes, American magazine publisher, once said, "Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are." This is true in many ways; many compare themselves to others, wishing and desiring to have the talents or the looks they possess while completely ignoring what they have been blessed with since birth. While self-esteem is essential to possess in our daily lives, measuring our self-worth can be very emotionally painful. It is also unclear where the nature of self-esteem originates. Throughout the third edition of Self-Esteem published by New Harbinger Publications in the year 2000, authors Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning evaluate and offer valuable tactics and strategies to renovate the foundation of our self-esteem so that we may possess a healthy personality and begin enjoying our lives without comparing ourselves to those that are around us.

McKay and Fanning start off their self-help book by examining the nature of self-esteem and the causes and effects of it. When assessing the problem of human capacity, they wrote, "When you reject parts of yourself, you greatly damage the psychological structures that literally keep you alive" (McKay 1). By this McKay and Fanning meant that judging and then rejecting yourself can cause an astonishing amount of emotional pain. When this occurs, you begin to take fewer social, career, and academic risks; risks that could potentially make you happier. Examples of these risks might be asking someone out you find attractive, applying for that position you desperately want, or applying to a university that has been your dream to attend. McKay and Fanning evaluated and tried to answer the question does self-esteem determine circumstances or do circumstances determine self-esteem. They came to the conclusion that "self-esteem and your circumstances are only indirectly related. There is another intervening factor that determines self-esteem 100 percent of the time: your thoughts" (McKay 4). A reason why it is important to alter your perspective on things is because you cannot change the circumstances of your life. You cannot alter the fact that you were born with an alcoholic mother, your dad skipped out on your family, or that you were bullied and made fun of in school. Whatever the circumstance is, there is no way to change it and so the way to build a better and healthier self-esteem is to focus on positive thoughts. McKay and Fanning say that rejecting parts of yourself can cause a lot of emotional pain and the way to improve your self-esteem is to improve your thoughts.

McKay and Fanning proceed to explain that it is essential to catch your critic, disarm him, and then celebrate your strengths. Catching your critic is vital when desiring to reconstruct your self-esteem. The authors described the critic as the one that "hits you with images of past mistakes or failures" (McKay 47). It can be quite discouraging and hurtful to have someone remembering