Effective Communication

Communication is an important aspect of any relationship especially regarding marriage. Knowing your significant other is important in having a healthy and productive marriage. Communication is an effective tool in creating a strong bond with your love one. After reading the article "Can We Talk? Researcher Talks about the Role of Communication in Marriages", I will focus on my personal experiences and how self-disclosure is important to satisfy your partner in relationships. I will also mention on how gender differences have found similarities and how everyone does not fit into generalizations.

My wife and I have been in marriage for a little over two years. We knew each other for about six months before I decided to propose. This is mostly due to how well we communicated with each other. We instantly "fell in love" and became very attached. Even now, we still talk about everything, however my wife will tell me there are "some things" she would not discuss with me. She would explain how there are "girlfriend talk" and "guy talk". I guess I somewhat agree with that. But for the most part, we share a lot of interests, and enjoy talking about them. We also discuss our feelings, life-long goals, daily routines, activities, and every other random topic we stumble across. If we were not able to communicate the way we do, I believe our relationship would not be this strong.

According to the suggested article, Schoenberg, "In the (research) literature, as well as for my couples, communication means you're sharing and really getting to know one another". Schoenberg believes that couples who share ten minutes of meaningful communication every day will have a stronger and lasting relationship. Based on personal experience, her hypothesis seems to be true. "Every couple can benefit from meaningful communication with their partner". (Schoenberg, 2011) Self-disclosure can surely enhance a relationship. I can attest to this because my wife constantly discloses her feelings to me and encourages me to "self-disclose". Even when we argue or disagree, disclosing our own feelings help us to understand and know each other better.

Gender also plays a role in communication. There are many stereotypes about how each gender communicates. Robin Lakoff, a professor at the University of California, suggests that "women use less expletives and hedge more often than men" (Sole, 2011). There are many other generalizations about how each gender communicates, however I believe I am one of the few that do not fall into that category. A common myth about gender is that "women communicate more than men", however I look to communicate effectively and fully with my wife especially when she is feeling upset. I do not choose to ignore the situation because I care about her and want her to feel better. We