Behaviour Modification

Behaviour Modification Project - Psyc 261

Inability to resolve conflict

Jered Salvary - 00030394

Conflict is everywhere. Kids fight, business professionals try to outmaneuver each other over process and control issues, political parties battle for influence with their competing beliefs, nations war over dominance and the control of resources and families clash over their different values and expectations of each other. Conflict is always present with us and conflict will always be a part of our life. Conflict refers to the feeling we experience when we must decide between two or more incompatible choices (Plotnik & Kouyoumdjian, 2008).

The selected behaviour

On searching for a behaviour I would modify I realized that there were few that needed changing but the one that peaked my interest was my inability to resolve conflict. Conflict resolution is the process of resolving a dispute or a conflict, by providing each side's needs, and adequately addressing their interests so that they are satisfied with the outcome. It aims to end conflicts before they start or lead to physical fighting (WordIQ.com, 2010). I chose this behaviour because the inability for me to resolve conflict is one of my weaknesses and I think by changing it or attempting to do so can contribute to me being a better person.

There are many different methods and philosophies of dealing with in-appropriate, abnormal or undesirable behaviour. Behaviour modification is one of these. Behaviour modification refers to the application of conditioning techniques to teach new responses or to reduce or eliminate problematic behaviour (Wade & Travis, 2008). It is different from other methods and philosophies in that it focuses only on observable, describable and measurable behaviours.

Benefits

In this era of school and workplace violence, rage while on the roads, at the supermarket or even in a store, knowing how to resolve conflicts can save a life. Beyond that, conflict resolution skills can improve relationships and deepen understanding. Changing my stated behaviour would have an impact on my life positively by allowing me to have an increased understanding on conflict resolution, increased group cohesion and improved self-knowledge. Increased understanding can be an end result of a discussion needed to resolve conflict as it expands people's awareness of the situation. It will give them an insight into how I can achieve my own goals without undermining those of other people. Group cohesion is group togetherness, which is determined by how much group members perceive that they share common attributes (Plotnik & Kouyoumdjian, 2008). Increased group cohesion would be related to when conflict is resolved effectively and parties can develop stronger mutual respect and a renewed faith in their ability to work together. Improved self-knowledge states that conflict pushes individuals to examine their goals in close detail (WordIQ.com, 2010). This will help me understand the things that are most important to me and will cause me to listen to and consider different ideas.

Negative aspects

If conflict is not handled effectively, the results can be damaging. Conflicting goals can quickly turn into personal dislike and it may even cause violence. Teamwork breaks down as a result of increased tension between groups. Talent is wasted as people disengage from their work as they lose focus on tasks and goals and it's easy to end up in a vicious downward spiral of negativity and recrimination. In a nutshell, in extreme cases, conflict can lead to violence and it disrupts normal channels of cooperation, weakens or destroys groups and it can be harmful to individuals.

The program

Behavior modification techniques aim to manipulate the antecedents and consequences of behavior so that the likelihood of appropriate behavior is increased and inappropriate behavior is decreased. The reason for this is the belief that all behavior is learned. Learning can be defined as a relatively permanent change in behaviour, both unobservable and observable responses, associated with specific stimuli and/or responses that change as a result of experience (Plotnik & Kouyoumdjian, 2008). If you are trying to reduce an inappropriate behavior, an appropriate behavior must be taught as an alternative. Seeing that my inability to resolve conflict occurs only under stressful circumstances mainly as a result of arguing over a particular issue, an effective way of avoiding conflict in stern situations was come up with using a program, which involves nine steps.

Before I started, I took a moment to reflect on a stressful conflict from my recent past. Then as I reviewed each step, I mentally compared each suggestion to what actually happened in my conflict and imagined how things might have gone differently. I then pinpointed my particular strengths and weaknesses. Finally, I considered how I might adapt my approach to improve the outcome of future conflicts. After doing this I proceeded by using the following nine steps.

Firstly, I listen with respect and openness. Before I even begin a discussion, I would calm myself and step back from my emotions. I tried not to take the situation personally, even if I felt defensive or under attack and I would let go of grudges and preconceptions so that I entered the conversation with an open mind, imagining that I was hearing everything for the first time.

Secondly, I looked at the situation from the other person's perspective. It is crucial to set pride aside and really listen to what the other person has to say. When we take responsibility we shift the conflict into an entirely different gear, one where resolution is possible. I then avoided assumptions and asked questions if I don't understand something. After doing this, I verbally summarized what I heard and asked for confirmation or clarification.

Thirdly, I let the other person hear an explanation of my perspective. I explained my views on the situation clearly making sure to separate the person from the problem. In other words, I focused on behaviors or situations that I wanted to change rather than personal traits. Once I remained calm, I used "I" statements and non-judgmental language and stuck to the facts during this step, causing me to increase the likelihood that the other person will listen. "I messages" are a tool for expressing how we feel without attacking or blaming (Naomi, 2002). By starting from "I" we take responsibility for the way we perceive the problem. A statement