All It Took Was one

All It Took Was One

               The day became darker and darker as I came in to the classroom, and there they were-- all my classmates who were staring at me like I never belonged to this world. I was the only one who didn’t join their group. I sat in a corner where nobody else was. I was the reason why my classmates didn’t want to be around me.  In those days, I was always lonely to a point where I wanted to kill myself.  But I told myself that I had to live for my family and cousins.  As the days went on, I spent most of my time by myself, sitting in a corner where no one would know me.  Once, when I tried to ask another group if they wanted me to join them, one of their members, Erika refused.

Erika said,  “If you join our group you have to be smart.”  I thought about this for a minute and I told her, “Yes, I am smart, so can I join?”  Erika shouted, “No, you can’t join!”

After Erika said that, I felt I was all alone again.  Then I was mad at myself because I had known she wouldn’t let me, so why did I have to ask her. What a fool I had been!  A few seconds later, Erika and her friend stared at me with really mean smiles. At that moment, I really wanted to cry, but I told myself not to.  Then I just stayed in a corner and stayed still until after school.

I had never felt so embarrassed in front of my classmate, but I didn’t know how I was going to be myself. I was so lost and couldn’t feel myself. I was lost in a world where nobody liked me. Nobody cared about me. My classmates bullied me and treated me as if I didn’t have a family.

“How could I live if I don’t have my family?” I whispered to myself.

Soon tears started to fall from my eyes. My classmates were still whispering mean things and staring at me as if I never belonged to that class.  I thought I would never have any friends. I just wanted to be their friend, but they never realized that. I was scared they never would like me. They never cared about how I felt. They were so tired of me that they wished I was never here, never existed. I never had hope and feared I would never have happiness.

”Why is life so unfair?. Why do you guys have to treat me like I don't belong. All I am is a ghost who is talking to you but you can’t see me!”  I yelled to my classmates.

 All I wanted them to know is that I didn’t want to be lonely anymore. I didn’t want them to treat me like that. All I ever wanted was to be their friend. But would they realize it?  I didn’t know. If they kept bullying me, then all I could say was that they did not realize that I wanted to be their friend. But if they treated me like a friend then that would mean they realized that I wanted to be their friend.

 I never ever had felt so lonely.  I never had cried in front of my classmates.  I felt so embarrassed, so lost. I didn’t even know how to talk to them. I didn’t know how to start a conversation with them. I was so lost. I was lost in a world where everybody disliked me. I felt terrible and sad. I was angry at myself. But no one knew that. No one cared who I was. No one even knew how I felt. Now I wanted to cry. I just wanted to cry because I knew that after I finished crying, everything would be ok again. But it wasn’t.

"I hate myself!  I really hate myself!  I don’t want to be like this anymore.  I don’t want to see my classmates staring at me like this. I don’t want to give up, but will my classmate accept that? I don’t know. How will I live if they keep on bullying me?” I whispered to myself.

All I knew is that they wouldn’t accept me as their friend. They would just keep on bullying  me until the end of the world. No one was going to tell them to stop. Not even my teacher. Not even my family, my cousins. Everyone on earth wanted me to die. Everyone hated me because of the mistakes that I made. Everyone on earth bullied me.

“Why?” I said

“Why is life so unfair? Why does my family only like my sister and not me? Why is it like this?” I whispered to myself feeling more confused.

I couldn’t accept that everyone made fun of me.  I couldn’t accept my classmate bullying.  I had to make a decision fast if I wanted this to stop. If I didn’t want to feel lonely anymore and wanted to stop being bullied. I had to make a new friend even if it was not in the school. I just had to make a new friend. That was the only way my classmates would stop bullying me. That was the only way I had to feel happy again.

After two years, I graduated from elementary school and was moving on to high school. The first day of school was good. I met a lot of new classmates. They all seemed really nice, especially this girl sitting next to me. For a while, I thought this girl sitting beside me could be my friend. I felt happy again.

Not long after, we met again at her birthday party. Then I realize she could be my best friend.  My mom met her mom at a parent-teacher conference. Their house was next to our house. She was my neighbour too but didn’t even realize it.