Third Parties: The Stereotypes to Blame

Third Parties: The Stereotypes To Blame

By: Allison Santiaguel

In every relationship where a third party is involved, most likely the "other person" is to be given all the blame. Why? You're not even sure that the other person involved knows your partner is already in a relationship. Third party individuals are usually called names like bitch, asshole, slut, etc. In movies, third parties always seem like the bad guys. But of course who are we to know. I am not trying to protect them. It's just that I everybody has a reason. If there is one thing third parties are guilty of, it is that they loved someone, and unfortunately that someone is off-limits. Some know it, and some don't. Some try to fight for what they feel. Some try to distance themselves. But of course, you know how the saying goes, it takes two to tango. Every person in this world yearns to love and to be loved in return. There are some instances where we feel a certain kind of emotion for two people. It doesn't mean that you suddenly feel like you're falling for another person when you're already in a relationship that you no longer love the person you are with. Emotions are pretty tricky. It might be that what you actually feel for that other person is comfort. Because what better way to feel anything different towards a person when you seem to feel connected to him or her in some way.

I, myself, had an experience with having these emotions for my best friend while I was in a long-distance relationship. I almost mistook it for falling in love. But no, suddenly I realized that I was actually yearning for my partner that my feelings became vulnerable. I'm very at ease with my best friend, and I felt that he has feelings for me to even before he knew about my feelings. We got into a point when we'd be holding hands and he'd hug me. Honestly, I didn't feel the spark. Eventually, I told my boyfriend. Of course, he got mad and I decided to stay away from my best friend. I think it's a bonus that I needed to transfer to another school for academic purposes.

There's a big difference between security and love. Some look for security in a partner. I guess if you search for security, emotional security that is, you're just choosing with your mind. Because you know that person won't leave you. That person won't cheat on you. That person won't let you feel rejected. Then what if you've found another person who could also give the type of emotional security you're looking for and more? You leave your partner?

All I'm trying to say, sometimes those people we call bitches and sluts, or whatever, are those who are oppressed, too. All they ever did was love, and shown it. And in return, after the hurtful revelation that the person they loved can't love them back, people think of how low