The Riddle of Experience Vs. Memory

The riddle of experience vs. memory

“It is very difficult to think straight about well-being” – end note of Daniel Kahneman in his speech about experience vs. memory. I am starting with his end note because that single line has a deep meaning and summarizes the crux of his speech. He started off by pointing out three main cognitive traps – reluctance to admit complexity, confusion between memory and experience, and focusing illusion. Then, he explained the cognitive traps with wonderful example of listening to symphony and colonoscopy. It is evident and undeniable from his speech that there is a huge difference between remembering self and experiencing self. In fact, the remembering self does more than telling stories since it is actually the one that influences our happiness and decisions. He also points out that the happiness of the experiencing self and remembering self is distinct. Correlating the distinction with my past experiences, I realize that his points makes more sense. For instance, I am an ardent traveler and I have roamed almost nook and corer of India. Even though many of them are adventurous trips, I hardly remember the experience of those events. I have hiked one of the dangerous mountains of India, have surfed one of ferocious lakes, have ridden in the deep forest at pitch dark. When I did those things, I felt the real experience of my life. Right now, after some time, I am able to recollect only memories, not the feel. I could relate Daniel’s explanation of experiencing self and remembering self.  

Daniel also mentioned a crucial fact about happiness. How satisfied somebody is with their life really doesn't match with how happily they're living their life, and vice versa. The correlation between them is about 0.5. He went to explain about the factors influencing the happiness. And it is clear from his explanation that money and goals give temporary happiness not permanent satisfaction. Once you achieve a goal, you set another one. There is no tranquility in the whole process. When there is no tranquility, there is no happiness and in turn no satisfaction. The most important influencer of happiness is the people whom we like. We would be more satisfied when we spend time with people we like. Most of the time we end up doing things by assuming that we would be happy if we do that. Our experiencing self is not going to get happier by doing that. Whether we are really happy or not, the thinking that we would be happy if we do that is enough to feel satisfied.

Summarizing, first step to lead a happy and satisfied life is to realize that there are two distinct factors, remembering self and experiencing self, that influence our behavior and

to understand the difference between experience and memory, that will keep us happy.