The Power of Forgiveness

The Power of Forgiveness.

The greatest ethical ideal that I learned from this is subject is probably forgiveness. The principle of forgiveness is commonly taught in both traditional religions and secular philosophies as being an important virtue. We are supposed to forgive others because that makes us better people, while failing or refusing to forgive supposedly means that we are giving in more violent instincts. Forgiveness is a part of ethical life. According to Merriam-Webster (2015) forgiveness is an internal feelings that stops us for being mad or angry at someone. Forgiveness is a virtue of ethics. To someone concerned with self-respect, self-forgiveness can seem puzzling. On the one hand, while forgiving another person for wronging you can seem virtuous, even saintly, forgiving yourself for wronging another seems a self-indulgent cheat, an attempt to feel good about yourself that betrays a failure of responsibility and a lack of self-respect. Forgiveness is morally acceptable only if it is compatible with self-respect.

What is forgiveness? When is it appropriate? When is the right time to forgive someone? Forgiveness may seem like the hardest things to do. It is an honest compassion for those who have wronged us, instead of allowing anger toward them to eat away at us; it is the most recommended action. The timing of forgiveness is unclear, it can happen anytime. According to some, forgive shall be done after the offender take full responsibility and suffer dues to his or her punishment. Does the concept of unforgivable make sense? According to some, certain actions are forgivable while others are not. Well to me, forgiveness is subjective, and it can have many meanings. Moreover, there are two forms of self-forgiveness; one is called into play by damaged self-respect, while the other displays secure self-respect. A self-respecting person has reason to seek the first, and the restoration of self-respect it involves is its central moral value.

We are a normal human being, we all make mistakes. So when we learn to forgive other, we can also seek forgiveness when we commit something foolish. People who can readily forgive others are much more responsible and warm hearted compared to those who keep grudges against others. It is well said in the Quran, Surah An-Nur 24:22 and Allah said: ‘show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the ignorant (Islam.ru, 2011). Not to forget in the bible, Matthew 18:22, Forgive not seven times, but seventy-times seven (Bible Hub, 2004). Why? Because forgiveness is our ability to remove negative thoughts and neutralize our energy within. We cannot move on with our life if past cloud our thinking.

I believe that, if the closest person to you betray you or hurt you, you will find it difficult to forgive them. Sometimes, in certain extent to which that your trusts have been break and it determines your decision on forgiving someone. In this situation, forgiveness take place when where a wife forgave her husband for cheating on her. Aria believes that her marriage with her husband Ben were happy with their two kids. Everything seems so fine at the beginning but things started to hit rock bottom when they had problems with their business and they were feeling pressures about money and other stuffs. But things still look normal to Aria, where she still goes out for dinner with Will and did things as a family. Aria never dreamed that Ben would betray her. It all happened when Ben and a customer had flirted. A one night stand turned into a three months affair. When that woman asked Ben will he ever leave his family for her, Ben decided to break things off with her and decide to stay faithful to Aria. It was painful for Aria to pretend that their marriage was okay and pretend that Ben never cheated on her. Instead of leaving her husband after knowing that he cheated, Aria decided to stay with him for the sake of their children but it took Aria almost a year to forgive Ben. “Forgiving him was the hardest thing to do”, says Aria. Because of that decisions that Aria and Ben make, now their marriage is stronger than ever. Surely someone who fully understands her moral status and values herself basically as a person can yet feel quite guilty and ashamed, be disgusted with and even despise herself. In such cases, there would seem to be no self-respect work for self-forgiveness to do and suggest that it might even undo important moral work done by abiding self-approach.