The Last Steps to My Ultimate Destruction

i stand here... a beaten and torn boy...

looking like a man...

i look to the steps...

the 12 steps to my ultimate destruction and demise,

the first step i take... love...

love that for a time, made me feel more like a person...

love that healed the wounds of the battles of old...

love that awoken me from a nightmare

love...

the second step i take... fear...

fear i have felt everyday...

fear that kept its dark hold on me...

fear that never aloud me to open up and cry...

fear...

the third step i take... loyalty...

loyalty to my friends...

loyalty to my family...

loyalty to the ones i care for...

loyalty...

the fourth step i take... anger...

anger i have felt for the things that are done to me...

anger that coursed thru my veins causing destruction and death...

anger that fueled my battles within myself...

anger...

the fifth step i take... tears...

tears i have cried for no reason...

tears that reflected my pain inside...

tears... that stream down my face as i walk on...

tears...

the sixth step i take... salvation...

salvation i prayed for...

salvation i begged for...

salvation i wanted but could never have...

salvation...

the seventh step i take...happiness...

happiness i felt even for the short time it spent with me...

happiness that pushed me to fight on...

happiness the sword i wielded to fight...

happiness...

the eighth step i take... loneliness

loneliness i felt... unable to let go... unable to hold on...

loneliness