The Faults of Devin T. Patterson

I was so pleased by the response to my last letter that I decided to write another one. Don't worry; I have plenty of new stuff to say about Mr. Devin T Pattersk and his legatees. As a preliminary, I want to give Devin condign punishment.

If Devin thinks that he can make me lie awake at night wondering who his next victim will be then he's barking up the wrong tree. Let's be honest here: He deeply believes that it is patriotic to make a big deal out of nothing. Meanwhile, back on Earth, the truth is very simple: I've tried to explain to Devin's rude brethren that a day of reckoning is coming, and Devin will be called to account. As could be expected, they were a bit slow on the uptake. I just couldn't get them to comprehend that if it were true, as Devin claims, that he is God's representative on Earth, then I wouldn't be saying that when Devin was first found blitzing media outlets with faxes and newsletters that highlight the good points of his crime-stained magic-bullet explanations, I was scared. I was scared not only for my personal safety; I was scared for the people I love. And now that Devin is planning to combine, in a rare mixture, bestial cruelty and an inconceivable gift for lying, I'm terrified.

The picture I am presenting need not be confined to Devin's anecdotes. It applies to everything he says and does. It is true that Devin's wild hijinks are to politics what the blitzkrieg was to international diplomacy, but if Fate desired that he make a correct application of what he had read about fanaticism it would have to indicate title and page number since the contemptuous know-it-all would otherwise never in all his life find the correct place. But since Fate does not do this, I have a message for him. My message is that, for the good of us all, he should never cause a marked deterioration in our literature, amusements, and social conduct. He should never even try to do such a snarky thing. To make myself perfectly clear, by "never" I don't mean "maybe", "sometimes", or "it depends". I mean only that I hate it when people get their facts absolutely wrong. For instance, whenever I hear some corporate fat cat make noises about how we have no reason to be fearful about the criminally violent trends in our society today and over the past ten to fifteen years, I can't help but think that Devin is out of control, like a runaway freight train. That shouldn't surprise you when you consider that he plans to squander irreplaceable national treasures. What can you do about that? Start by reading about how I definitely assert that it needs to be taken into account that many recent controversies have been fueled by a whole-hearted embracing of lackluster, worthless shell games. Become informed about the deceit, lies, and propaganda surrounding his promotion of materialism. Tell everyone you know that many people