The Cycle of Abuse

The Cycle of Abuse consists of three phases: tension building, explosion and honeymoon. Each phase could last for several seconds, weeks, months or even years. Most relationships usually began with the honeymoon phase; however the tension building stage is the first stage of the cycle of violence.

In the first stage of the cycle of violence, tension building, there are eruptions of abuse that may consist of physically abuse you by hitting, kicking, pushing or choking the victim as well as screaming and yelling that scares or humiliates the victim. The abuser may force sex/rape their victims and threaten more violence.

The second stage of the cycle of violence is called the explosion stage. This is when things began to get tense in the relationship. The victim tip-toe around their abuser to make sure they don't make them mad; while the abuser is always starting arguments with their victims.

During the final stage of the cycle of violence called the honeymoon stage, the abuser will try to make their victims forgive and/or forget the abuse that have taken place in the explosion phase. The abuser apologies and make promises that he/she will end the abuse. The abuser buys their victim gifts such as flowers and other gifts. They also express their feeling by saying, "I love you" to their victims. He/she makes excuses for the explosion stage by blaming their behavior on other things, like being drunk or stressed out.

There are many reasons why victims remain in abusive relationships such as:

1. Parental- to protect the children and/or out of fear of being a single parent with little or no money

2. Fear of losing custody of their minor child/children

3. Religious and/or cultural beliefs

4. Financial resources - the couple's assets are in the abuser's name such as bank accounts, real estate and medical insurance.

5. The victim has no family or friends because the abuser frowned on her initial independence and regards it as a threat.

6. The victim fear that their friends and family may not support or understand their decision to leave their abuser.

7. Because the victim was denied the option to further their education, they have no skills to acquire a job

8. They fear having to live to a lower standard of living for themselves and their children

9. Illness or medical condition that will make the victim living on their own difficult and the victim is dependent upon the abuser for care.

10. The victim may be uninformed of shelters and/or other resources that offer safety and support for victims in their area.

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