The Animal Within Me

Two years in rural Ireland. The thought slightly frightened me. Some call it the emerald isle, but to me it was just an unknown territory, filled with vast, damp woodland. Maybe the idea of living in seclusion appealed to me. The thought of being alone versus the rest of the world can sometimes seem like an exhilarating idea. Yes, it was exhilarating. As an animal, I was to be taken out of my natural habitat and put into this bizarre, new situation that I felt would not work for me. At thirteen years old, it was impossibly hard to make the transition that I endured.

I grew up in the city, far from the trees and grass, but more importantly, the animals. I have always been a social kid. People in general, my friends in particular, play a critical role in my life. Their presence has always been a source of comfort and without other living beings around me, I feel lost. Lost because I depend on others to give me emotional support when I need it. I moved away from my city when I needed this support most. It had been a bumpy road for me, and I was vulnerable.

I had a dog in Paris. She was sweet and loyal, yet I never found myself trying to understand her as a living being or to find comfort in her. To me, she was just there. Like with the few other animals that inhabited this city, I never gave them second thought. There were people to see and to talk to, I had no reason to try and socialize with other creatures. Ireland was different. Where I lived, animals were the majority. This changed a lot of things in my life. I was one of those things.

We are all animals. I am an animal and so are all the other living beings that inhabit the Earth. We all live our lives parallel to the ones of creatures, in the sense that in order to survive, all beings must go through similar processes. Whether it is eating, sleeping or simply adapting in order to protect ourselves, all of us beings have the same instincts. Though human beings have evolved differently. We have rules and standards which allow us to forget that there is a wild side to us all.

Ireland brought out that raw, animal instinct that had been buried deep down within me. I was going through a period in my life on which I was torn between wanting to be grown up and wanting to regress. Conflicted by maturity and immaturity. Moving to a place that I felt I did not understand gave me the instinct I had fallen out of touch with. The animal instinct which allowed me to adapt.

A relationship was created between the wild animals and I without me having to actually try and obtain one. I created this relationship when I realized that like a vulnerable prey, I had to be strategic in order to get through what I knew would be a challenging experience.

We had a chicken coop behind the house. I never got attached to these animals because they just seemed oblivious to everything, including me. They did undeniably serve a purpose though, providing fresh eggs and meat for my family and I. Every time anyone approached the coop, the hens would go fluttering about awkwardly, not actually trying to stop anyone because they had adapted to this situation. I knew I was like the animals and it helped me understand why it is so easy for us to live side by side with other creatures. It is because of our similarities. All animals share that same parental instinct