Sarcastic Paper

I believe that everyone has something in the future for them. As long as we strive for our goals, they will (in some form) become accomplished. Some people just go with the flow, but I have my life planned out. Not all of it will happen, but I am determined to make sure that the vital parts do come true. The best way to head into a future is head-on.

I have already decided that in Scottsdale, Arizona, I will become a stripper/ pole-dancer to make money for college. This I will do while balancing college classes and parties. After a couple years of this, and many livers later, I will become one of Hugh Hefner's girls. Maybe I will even become a centerfold! I aim to do this until I become pregnant and have to run away to Canada and give birth to a Russian, future Cossack dancer.

To get back into the States, I will leave my child with Eskimos and ride a wolf over the border. The wolf will indeed eat my arm, but then that will give me Welfare earlier in life. After the wolf eats my arm, I will beat him like a piñata. I will jump on his back and jump over the border fence.

With the Welfare money, I will buy a prosthetic arm. I will model for Victoria's Secret and become the first handicapped model. Once I get enough bank, I will go back to college and finish my degree in sociology. I will then teach classes on how to live a successful life, because, face it, everyone needs a little adventure.