Private Lives Essay

Holey Matrimony

In order to have a successful marriage, one must go into it for the right reasons. However, everyone has different reasons that suit him or her appropriately. Some believe it to be the way of God, others believe it is the way to live life and raise a proper family, and then, nevertheless, some do not believe in it at all. In his intimate comedy, Private Lives, Noel Coward expresses his belief that marriage, without the proper balance of exerted emotion, cannot work. Through the petty insecurities of a newly married couple, the twisted relationship between a divorced couple that end up neighbors while on honeymoon, and the unimaginable situation between the spouses of the divorced couple, Coward illustrates how impossible that perfect emotional balance is to achieve. It is impossible due to drastically opposite sides of the emotional spectrum.

The characters in the play have very twisted relationships. In the first scene, Coward introduces the roles of Elyot and Sibyl. Sibyl, Elyot's second wife, presses Elyot about how much she loves him. Sibyl continues to compare herself to his previous wife Amanda, who he divorced five years earlier. He implores her not to question him any further, after consistently assuring Sibyl that his heart belongs to her. However, she relentlessly dances around the subject, weighing herself against Amanda:

Sibyl: Are you glad you married me? Elyot: Of course I am. Sybil: How glad? Elyot: Incredibly, magnificently glad. Sybil: How lovely. Elyot: We ought to go in and dress. Sibyl: Gladder than before? Elyot: Why do you keep harping on that? Sibyl: It's in my mind, and yours too, I expect. Elyot: It isn't anything of the sort. Sybil: She was pretty, wasn't she? Amanda? Elyot:Very pretty. Sibyl: Prettier than I am? Elyot: Much. Sybil: She was pretty and sleek, and her hands were long and slim, and her legs were long and slim, and she danced like an angel. You dance very poorly, by the way. Sibyl:Could she play the piance as well as I can? Elyot: She couldn't play the piano at all. Sibyl [triumphantly]: Aha! (186).

The couple continues on to have an ordinary married couple kind of quarrel about in-laws, pets, and manners. This leads, once again, to Sibyl asking about how much Elyot loves her compared to Amanda. He explains that he married Sibyl for a different kind of love than the one he married Amanda for. He says, "You're right. Love is no use unless it's wise, and kind, and undramatic. Something steady and sweet, to smooth out your nerves when you're tired. Something tremendously cosy; and unflurried by scenes and jealousies." (188). This proves Coward's point that marriage is unnecessary in his eyes. He learned, from a very early age, that love where there is no passion does not last, and love where both parties are too kind does not prosper. This kind of love is unachievable in marriage, and the balance is nearly impossible to find.

A marriage with too much passion and fire can burn out quickly. While their spouses are changing, Elyot and Amanda, a man and a woman who married and divorced once before, run into each other when they end up as neighbors while both on honeymoon. They chat about the weather and activities they have engaged in while apart until, finally, addressing the elephant in the room. Both realize how much they missed each other and discuss running away. They say they both were truly in love and it was a mistake to end their relationship. They run away to Amanda's flat in Paris, where they discuss their reason for divorcing. "Amanda: No, no, it's the bickering that always starts it. The moment we notice we're bickering, either of us, we must promise on our honor to stop dead. We'll invent