On Love - When You Fall in Love

On Love

Love is arguably one of the broadest concepts in the world. Although that is subjective, there is one thing everyone can agree on; the line between love and hate is blurry if not nearly nonexistent. In the ends, they tend to blur together and sometimes hate turns to love or love turns to deep hate within a matter of days. We all know the phrase ‘Love is kind, love is patient, etc. etc.’, but is it? Isn’t love the exact opposite sometimes? Isn’t love anger, and heartbreak, and pain also? Why have we resorted to defining love as something good all the time? Sometimes love is toxic and unkind and brutal and traumatizing, so why are we all in the hole of romanticizing the idea of love so much? We believe we can’t live without it, and we are blinded by the idea of it.

        I am not against love, but first the unrealistic demands of love must be addressed. Love is never just kind nor is it ever just angry. It stretches and grows, it evolves with you. It’s like the murky waters of a swamp, covered in moss and dead things but when the sunlight hits it just in the right angle, there’s a certain beauty to it. Why is the idea of love so widely discussed and fought over? Is it really that important to people to define such a seemingly simple concept? Or rather, why are we trying to define a chemical reaction in our brains? Because no one can really answer what love is. Of course we can go on and on about the chemicals that are released when you are in love or being around a loved one, but that’s not the hard part. The idea of love is different to every person, but something that everyone can agree with is love is the strongest force in the world, and for some, it is the strongest emotion they will feel in their lifetimes.

        Love is a maze of twists and turns and traps laid out for anyone fortunate enough to walk it, and each turn will leave you speechless and gasping for air. When you can overcome them, the hurdles and challenges, healthy relationships blossom. Whether this be a purely sexual or romantic love or the unconditional love we feel for our parents and friends. However, sometimes we can’t overcome those hurdles, sometimes we feel like we are stuck in the same place, getting caught in the same trap, or just going around in endless circles. This is a toxic relationship. The kind that makes you upset or afraid to be around someone, the kind that makes you lose hope in all the beautiful ideas and feelings love can throw your way. We all experience both kinds in some form, maybe it is a mother that constantly makes you feel upset about your appearance or your intelligence, or maybe it’s a significant other that will put you down for everything you do and blame it on themselves to receive pity. Or if you’re lucky, it will be a mother who encourages you and pushes you to be the best you can be and a significant other in who’s presence you thrive. Sometimes it’s hard to tell these two apart, and that’s the difficult thing about love. It is abstract. It is seen and defined differently by everyone.