My Life

When you lose two of the closes people in your life you tend to have a change in life that no one will seem to get. I hear "everything will be ok", "you will see brighter days" or even "their in a better place". When you have a twin sister that shares the same emotions, you would think she's there to comfort you. Sadly I Feel it's just Me, Natasha Jahlisa Boatswain standing in a dark shadow of dislike of her own flesh and blood. Being a twin is hard to bare but at the same time a blessing. There isn't a day someone comes to me ask "how does it feel to be a twin" or "do you guys fight". Sometimes I feel annoyed and catch my attitudes like "WHY! Does this girl have my face" then I realize it's my other half, the person I share my birthday with. Over the 5 years my mother been gone and just losing my grandmother I thought it would bring our relationship closer, I was just wrong. My sister has a best friend that I feel she treats way better than me. I'm not proud to say I get jealous but every day I cry because we don't have that sisterly bond. In the process of trying to overcome my emotion problems this is improving me to become more independent. I know I can't be with my sister all my life but knowing that I can say she's my twin, the person I share my emotions with, my free therapist would the BEST thing I ever ask for. Seeing that your look alike your life line or so I thought she was become a sister figure to someone else breaks the months of being in the same wound as the one you see every day . I thought I was my sister keeper our mother princesses our grandmothers dream girls but things change as we grow and I'm living a cold world with one mind state that I'm on my own to face my obstacles . Tears fall and fall and fall but doesn't speak words of my emotion. I've come a long way to stop now and give up, my future is here and I'm taking hold of it