My Declaration

When in the course of general everyday dining away from home, it becomes necessary for a determined and scrupulous consumer (myself) to notify the manager of the restaurant's less than acceptable service.

I hold these beliefs to be indisputable: that waiters should always be pleasant in manner and dressed in proper attire, that customers should have seating that is appropriately equipped for eating, that food and drink should be served at times that are beneficial to the customer's satisfaction, and that customers should always feel content about their choice of establishment when dining out.

On more than just a few occasions I have had to experience excruciatingly questionable service at a restaurant. The dreadful incidents are as follows:

1. I have endured the agonizingly long wait to be seated at a restaurant that was managed as if its personnel had to trek through a sea of molasses.

2. I have endured the flabbergasting oversight made by a waiter that has somehow misplaced my order, and in turn nonchalantly continued with his duties.

3. I have endured the horrifying sight of my server's abominable and untidy appearance that leads me to speculate upon his actions during his break.

4. I have endured the appalling experience of having only a fork with which to eat my soup with.

5. I have endured the astonishingly satiric remarks and glances that a waiter has thrown my way, thanks to the party of ten before me that failed to leave suitable gratuity.

6. I have endured the horrifying occurrence of an icy meal that appears to have been brought from the Arctic Circle to my table by an incompetent waiter.

7. I have endured the painfully time consuming pursuit of my waiter to plead for the check that should have come when I finished my meal half an hour before.

Subsequently, my suggestions for improvement to the managerial team have been met with polite social acceptance but only to experience a similar disappointment upon return. I have filed multiple complaints that have outlined the main grievances against the restaurant's wait staff. I have taken matters into my own hands by lowering my expectations of the restaurant and giving the waiters the benefit of the doubt. I have even gone as far as considering cooking for myself while never patronizing another public dining establishment.

Henceforth, I declare my independence from ever having to tolerate such clearly inadequate preparation by a reputable establishment and from ever having to lower my standards because of a restaurants disregard for the customer.