Love and Marriage in Medieval Britain

Love and Marriage in Medieval Britain

In today's society, love is still written in many forms, with many different meanings. They tend to speak of marriage, divorce, lust, love, longing, mourning, and so on. These many different ways of expressing love was done centuries ago, but not only in many different languages, but with strict views and meanings to these expressions.

Most Old English literature focuses on the bonds between men, whether heroic retainers and their lords or pious saints and their God, and there seems to have been little interest in depicting domestic relationships and values (Anthology 361). The Anglo-Saxon period left no trace of literature explaining the love between a man and woman, except for in the Exeter Book, Riddles. Even with these Riddles at hand, they can be interpreted in many ways, and don't say much for marriage, but only the mentioning of sexual pleasures. Although there may not be much literature on the Anglo-Saxons personal feelings, there are a set of laws that explain the social customs and attitudes towards marriage. One poem that does explain the Anglo- Saxon loyalty and heroic ways is, The Wife's Lament. This poem explains a woman who is in exile and tortured by her isolation. She begins by explaining how her lord left her and his family and now she is on a journey to find him, however the lord's kinsmen do not want them to be together. It ends with her being forced to live in a forest grove in a cave under an oak tree. The cavern is very old and she is filled with longing. She thinks of happy lovers who lie in bed while she lives alone in the earth, but she can't help but long to be with him and love him. She knows this will never happen and so she comes to realization with her position and ends by stating, "Woe to the one who must wait with longing for a loved one" (Anthology 29). She is explaining here that she, who ponders grief, is always present for those who have long a loved one. Much like the riddles and Anglo-Saxon writing in general, this poem can be interpreted in many ways, but much of their writing was elegiac; meaning mournful and haunting. As explained before, there was little discretion when it came to the Anglo-Saxons revealing their personal feelings, but when the literary traditions of courtly love appeared in the south of France in the twelfth century spread rapidly throughout Europe, and had enormous impact both on literature and on the culture of European courts (Anthology 361), that is when more works of love and the customs of marriage began to be seen.

From the Canons of the Fourth Lateran Council (1215), the tradition of man and woman being married by a priest, in a church, was convened. "We decree that when marriages are to be contacted they shall be publicly announced in the churches by priests, with a suitable time being fixed may adduce a lawful impediment" (Anthology 365). This set precedent for the thought of marriage and how a marriage should be between a man and a woman, and it was seen and heard through literature. The Patson family of Norfolk left behind a few letters of correspondence that is filled with rich information regarding the English life in this period. The two letters spoke of an arranged marriage, and a marriage that was forbidden due to the social standing of the families; like Romeo and Juliet who were sworn enemies, the Montague's and the Capulet's. The second letter states,

"My own lady and mistress, and before God my very true wife, with a heart full of sorrow I recommend me to you, as one that cannot be