Lighted Candles

I waited for the rest of her words but found myself staring at the small white candle she was trying to put in place. She was babbling at her words because she was focusing on letting her candle stand. No sincere words came out and the candle stood but it broke.

It was the last part of our recollection day. We were lighting candles one by one around a rosary and were asked to utter some words of thanks to God and to our classmates for being part of the journey of high school life. It was truly magical having to watch the 43 people who winded up becoming a part of my life lighting their candles in the middle of the dark room. Unspoken words were replaced with tears. And behind the joys and triumphs our class have experienced for the last four years were the pain and unshed cries of the vulnerable being each of us possesses.

Her candle was one of the few I really wanted to see being lighted. She is one of my best and truest friends and one of the sincerest persons I know. Like me, she is fond of playing with metaphorical words to express herself. But when she stood up, I noticed the limp behind the strong footsteps and knew that there was something wrong. Through my watery eyes, I saw the candle she was holding. Unlike the candles around it, it was short and bended. She lighted the candle and muttered few words of thanks. At such a sentimental moment like that, I knew it wasn't normal for her to be so insincere and unfocused. Then the past few rotten days I spent with her resurfaced.

We haven't been talking normally (that is, insulting and playfully hitting each other) since the UPCAT results came out. The results is another story but I noticed it had started there. Way back the 18th of January, I noticed her putting up a brave face behind the breaking heart she was trying to control because of her upsetting result. I knew her so much that I see through her melancholy. She can barely conceal the frustration she felt but I did not approach her like I used to do. I waited for her to tell me but I failed. She didn't tell me and I didn't ask, either. The only reason I didn't is that we only have a month to be together. We are going to different schools and I need to see her strength amidst the painful separation and confusion the nearing graduation and all the pressure of the future were bringing us.

Like I said, I failed. In fact, the whole plan turned out wrong.

Instead of seeing her become stronger, I saw a wretched being who has no direction and plans for the future, at all. I can hardly remember the happy person in her for only faint smiles were shown. The gleaming eyes in her pretty face had lost its usual shine. She barely talked and was exceptionally quiet. She had lost her interest in food and rarely combed her messed up hair. She avoided gazes and stares from the people around her.

In