Life Case - Personal Essay

" Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you; they're supposed to help you discover who you are." - Bernice Johnson Reagon

I moved to Norwich on August 1,2006. I was 12 years old with the hope that a new town would help me and my mother move past our old life,. ad met our landlord, earlier that day and thought he was ok, but later that night I found out who he really was when for the first of many times he sexally abused me. A couple of months later did I found out that my mom didn't have to pay rent as long as she let him abuse me. She also began sexally abusing me with Dean. I was confused and lonely, praying to God that someone would come save me.

After what felt like a lifetime , my prayers were answered. On February 26, 2007, I was put into foster care. I remember that day very clearly because it was the day before my mom's birthday. At first I was angry because I still wanted to live with my mother. I was the only one who ever took care of her, and I felt that it was my job. I believed that she loved me and cared about me, even though she was very unstable and used me to pay her bills while she did nothing all day. After a couple of months of living with my new foster family , I felt safe enough to tell someone more of my story. I told a teacher what the landlord had been doing while I lived with my mother and she contacted the police. That night I had to write a statement which began a year and a half process of trials and testimonies.

In 7th grade I ended up being admitted to a pediatric psychiatric center after I started cutting myself and thinking about suicide . I stayed there for 9 months while I worked through a lot of issues. Some time after Christmas in the psychiatric ward, I went to see a federal attorney and the FBI so they could prepare me for the trial that I had to testify in. I felt alone and torn because I loved my mom and didn't want her to go to prison but I also hated everything she had put me though. I moved to a residential treatment facility in Auburn after 9 months in the pediatric psychiatric center. I was 14 years old. I traveled for three days back and forth to testify at the trial which was held in Binghamton, NY. It was one of the hardest thing I had to do but I overcame it. In December 2008 I had to go to court for the last time, for the sentencing of my mother and Dean Sacco. I got to say one last thing to the court before they got their sentence. I read a poem, knowing it was the last time I would see my mother. After the poem was the part I was dreading. My mom got 30 years in Federal prison and Dean got life.

I bounced back and forth between group homes for 6 years: I was known as the girl who was always running away and that was never happy. I hated everyone and most of all myself. I always would run away or hurt myself if I got too close to people. I was a girl screaming