Identity Disturbance

he effect of an absent father in the family has been well researched, and the statistics are of stunning significance:

- More likely to grow up in poverty

- Higher infant mortality

- Higher odds (men and women) of incarceration

- Boys at a higher risk of aggression and delinquency

- Girls with a higher probability of risky sexual behaviour

- Higher risk of eating disorders, drug and alkohol abuse

- Higher risk of dropping out of school

- More likely to be neglected or abused

- More likely to suffer from psychological disorders

A missing father cannot teach his son how to master his fearful and aggressive emotions, and he cannot give his daughter the experience of being precious and strong...

As a grown-up, you can feel the impact of your fatherless childhood - or abandonment and rejection by your father- in many ways. You might have dysfunctional relationships, problems with your own children, or lack of professional success.

Is this you?

- You live with a big hole in your heart, an emptiness that can never be filled

- You feel sad when you see loving interactions of fathers with their children

- You are angry at the world "for no good reason"

- You are unsure about what it means to be a man (a woman)

- You feel unsafe, anxious, and always on the edge

- You fear abandonment and rejection in relationships

- You have low self-esteem and often feel worthless

- You believe that there is something wrong with you

- You always look for approval

- You need to be perfect and successful at all cost - or you quit too soon

- You always struggle and try too hard

- As a man you are emotionally dependant on women- and resent them for it

- As a woman you either distrust men deeply or you idealize them

- You feel invisible or not heard

- You have conflicting feelings towards God