How Did I Get Here

How Did I Get Here?

Something was not right. John Breckenridge opened his eyes, saw the nurse's face, and closed them once more. Cobwebs slowly cleared from his brain as he woke up from his brain as he woke up from the operation. He felt a hard tube in his nostril, and tried to lift his hand to pull it out, but it was strapped down to the bed. John tried to speak but could make only a croaking sound. Nurse Thompson spoke soothingly, "Just try to relax, Mr. Breckenridge. You had a heart attack and emergency surgery, but you're going to be OK."

Heart attack? How did I get here? As the anesthesia wore off and the pain set in, John began to recall the events of the past year; and with the memories came another sort of pain - that of remembering a life where success was measured in hours worked and things accomplished, but which of late had not measured up.

John recalled his years in college, where getting good grades had been important, but not so much as his newly developing love for Karen, the girl with auburn hair who got her nursing degree the same year as he graduated with a degree in software engineering. They married the summer after graduation and moved from their sleepy university town in Indiana to Aspen, Colorado. There John got a job with a new software company while Karen worked evenings as a nurse. Although they didn't see much of each other during the week, weekends were a special time, and the surrounding mountains and nature provided a superb quality of life.

Life was good to the Breckenridges. Two years after they were married, Karen gave birth to Josh and two years later to Linda. Karen reduced her nursing to the minimum hours required to maintain her license, and concentrated on rearing the kids. John, on the other hand, was busy providing for the lifestyle they increasingly became used to, which included a house, car, SUV, ski trips, and all of the things a successful engineering career could bring. The company grew in leaps and bounds, and John was one of the main reasons it grew fast. Work was fun. The company was growing, his responsibilities increased, and he and his team were real buddies. With Karen's help at home, he juggled work, travel, and evening classes that led to a master's degree. The master's degree brought another promotion--this time to vice president of technology at the young (for this company) age of 39.

The promotion had one drawback: It would require working out of the New York office. Karen sadly said goodbye to her friends, convinced the kids that the move would be good to them, and left the ranch house for another one, much more expensive and newer, but smaller and just across the river in New Jersey from the skyscraper where her husband worked. Newark was not much like Aspen, and the kids had a hard time making friends, especially Josh, who was now 16. He grew sullen and withdrawn and began hanging around with a crowd that Karen thought looked very tough. Linda, always the quiet one, stuck mostly to her room.

John's new job brought with it money and recognition, as well as added responsibilities. He now had to not only lead software development but also actively