Gender Roles

Gender roles relate to the set of social and behavioral norms that are considered to be socially appropriate and acceptable for individuals of a specific sex. This is explained in depth on page 82 of the book. There are various ways that traditional gender roles influence feelings and expectations of love. There are huge differences in how each gender deals with their emotions / feelings.

Men tend to oppress their feelings, they normally do not like to show emotion, in attempts to try and prove their manhood. This is in complete opposite of most women, who tend to embrace their feelings, and to be very open and vocal with their feelings. This is not to say that women have "more feelings" than men, only that women express their feelings in a more emotional way than men do (Goldshmidt and Weller 2000) (page 82 Choices in Relationships). My husband must be an exception to the rule, because he is more emotional than I am, he is not embarrassed to cry during the movie "Father of the Bride", or call me to say "I love You", in front of his co-workers. The book also references in chapter 2 (9e) page 20, that these traditional gender roles may create a feeling of less marital satisfaction. Some women have feelings of "unfairness" due to the power differentials within the marriage; this is evident on page 95. Women tend to keep relationships on track; they have a stronger focus on relationships, and are more likely to initiate a conversation when there is a problem. Again, I do not see this in my marriage; my husband is open to talking about anything and everything. My husband puts me on somewhat of a pedestal, so I have never had a feeling of "unfairness" within my marriage. Chapter 2 (9e) page 20 also states that men are less likely than women to feel comfortable being intimate, due to "fear of intimacy."

I know from personal experience that my husband and I do embrace a majority of these traditional gender roles, however, neither one of us has pushed these roles on each other, we just happen to have the same view and outlook on marriage and family. For example, my husband and I take on a number of the traditional gender roles explained on page 97, such as my husband has always been the breadwinner. We have five children, and it has always been my job to stay home with the children and raise them. Over the last 13 years that I have stayed home with my children, I have never had a feeling of being held back or of lower worth. I knew from the beginning that I did not want to put my children in child care, and my husband supported that. Now that my youngest child started kindergarten last year, I felt it was my time to continue with my education and return to school. My husband fully supports me in this decision. Other traditional gender roles that we embrace are that I handle all the housework (along with help from my children) and my husband cares for the yards,