Gay Satire

Marriage is only meant to be between a man and a woman. It is a sacred bond of love and everyone knows that love only exists with straight couples. The biggest problem in today's society is not terrorist attacks, high number of murder and rape cases, or even poverty, it's the growing number of homosexuals. Can we be safe in this world while this issue continues to expand? Our world used to be an utopia, a perfect world without any unjustified foreign wars or global warming, but the minute a homosexual entered this world, all hell broke loose. The ice caps started to melt, some animals became extinct, and The Great Depression occured. If this issue is not fixed, humans will not be able to survive. More gays will be born and eventually take over the world with their flamboyant and sassy clothing and voice. You might claim that God loves all his children but you're wrong. Homosexuals are not children of God, therefore they're not loved by God. Gays are an abominations of mankind and we need to stop associating with them.

The history of gay people also known as "homos" and "abominations of mankind" all started when a man named Adam and Steve set foot on Earth. Some reports say that the dinosaurs went extinct not because of a giant meteor, but the sight of Adam and Steve committing unforgiveable sins. It also broke Pangaea's heart into 7 large pieces because of this issue. A lot of major catastrophes were indeed caused by homosexuals. Why do you think Hitler killed all of those Jews? He killed them because Adam is a Hebrew word for "man." He claimed that Jewish people are responsible for giving gays rights; rights that they do not deserve. Homosexuals are also responsible for the Eurodebt Crisis in 2008 which is not surprising since Europe has the most homosexuals in the world.

Homosexuals are out to get us. They have already started by stealing our wives and girlfriends. Gay men love going to the gym and you know who else likes going to the gym? Yes, all the females. While most straight males don't like dancing, homosexuals teach it. Gay men reportedly dress better, cook better, and dance better. All qualities that females love. Most importantly, our wives and girlfriends tell all their secrets to these men, including secrets about us and our plan to get rid of them. They've already started to hypnotize the female population. We must stop them before they reach our children and the rest of the population.

Giving these homosexuals rights will open doors to all sorts of outlandish behaviour. The Blacks will also want rights and so will the Mexicans. They will say things like "if gay people are allowed to be together, why can't we use the same washroom as Caucasian people?" and "if gay people can get married, why can't we get in America?" People might even wish to marry their pets because if gays have legal standing and can sign a