Dodgers

ellow Dodger fans, I love you, but please leave the room.

The rest of you, admit it. You’re just counting the days until the World Series is over. You’re not even shy about asking us, plaintively: When will it be over?

Trying to answer only makes it worse. Well, we say, it might end as early as Saturday. Then again, it might tip into November. But because it's a best-out-of-seven series, that means...hello? Hello? Where’d you go? And while you’re up, could you bring us a coaster?

That’s no way to spend October. Peace must be brokered. Therefore, in the interest of municipal tranquility, these seven reasons -- one each for the most World Series games you could possibly have to suffer -- just might help non-Dodger fans to care. At least a little. Consider caring because...

1. A lot of L.A. cares, and you care about L.A.

How much do most Angelenos have in common? Eight out of ten of us didn’t vote for mayor. We divvy ourselves up into Eastside and Westside as if the 405 were the Grand Canyon -- and that’s unless we live in Valley or South L.A., in which case we somehow don’t rate at all.

I’m no better. I haven’t spoken to a neighbor, let alone a stranger, in forever. But imagine if we had a better-than-even chance of something to talk about with everybody we met. For the next few days, couldn’t that be the Dodgers?

2. Nobody says you have to watch the whole thing to enjoy it. Take the middle few innings off. Seriously. Leave that to us completists. Come back in around the seventh or eighth.

And then, if it’s a close game, turn off the announcers and watch the players’ faces. Unlike in football, you actually can. See how hard these athletes try to make every precious chance count. Couldn’t we all stand the occasional reminder that, on or off field, we only get so many innings?

3. You hate Texans, who want to steal your job.

The Dodgers are playing against the Houston Astros. The governor of Texas has made no secret of his ambition to lure large California companies away with lower wages and fewer job protections.

The Dodgers, meanwhile, pay their players better than any other team in baseball. Management might wish this otherwise, but Angelenos should be proud. Doesn’t it make you want, even a little, to mess with Texas this week?

4. You don't need to master all the stats and lingo.

Let you in on a little secret? Even most fans can’t even keep up with baseball jargon. Every year they change the slang, like changing locks to keep you out. Most statistics are just convoluted ways to tell us what we already know. If early Christianity had done as lousy a job at making converts