Dialogue of Solomon and Jesus

In the Golden Hot Spring comes Burning Hot Arguments!

(Jesus and Solomon are both in a hot spring in Tokyo, Japan. The hot spring is an extremely extravagant hot spring surrounded by pure gold and platinum. Solomon is first to notice Jesus and quickly tries to avoid being seen by him by ducking his head under the boiling hot water. After a few minutes, Jesus notices a red man under the water near him and strongly pulls him up)

Jesus: Solomon! Is it really you, the son of King David?

Solomon: I don't know who you are talking about.

Jesus: Don't joke around with me; I'm Jesus in case you have forgotten, but I'm sure you haven't. I mean, I am quite famous. But any who, I am God, so you must not lie to me. Were you hiding from me? By the way, your face looks like a tomato.

Solomon: Goodbye.

Jesus: Wait! We have a lot to talk about. Let us enjoy our time in the warm, relaxing hot spring and have a nice conversation with one another. We are in such a beautiful place, everything is made out of gold and platinum, and since everyone is sleeping, we can have a nice deep chat. It is indeed our first time meeting each other, and since we are both such great, wise people, we must have plenty to talk about.

Solomon: Nah.

Jesus: Obey me. I am Jesus the Messiah, the man united with God, the Almighty.

Solomon: You only seem almighty and stuff in Israel or whatever. We're in Tokyo, in a hot spring, filled with naked men taking baths. You're not really in a position or location to be or act like the Messiah. And it's kind of awkward for you to give me commands while you're taking a bath. Right next to me... with a towel on your head...

Jesus: Uhh... silence!

Solomon: Just speak like a normal person. Nobody is listening nor watching. They're busy dozing off in their baths.

Jesus: Oh fine... How have you been these days, my friend? I hear you've been spending your wealth on needless things as always.

Solomon: You heard correctly.

Jesus: Ah, I see. Sooner or later that wealth of yours will disappear.

Solomon: Doubtful. My wealth is too great, it will never be gone. No one is wealthier than I am.

Jesus: Well to me, my wealth exceeds yours in both wisdom and in gold.

Solomon: Excuse me?! Just who do you think you are? I am the wealthiest man of them all. I have multiple amounts of slaves, flocks, herds, gold and silver. I can never run out of wealth.

Jesus: Oh really now?

Solomon: No man in this world can compare their wealth to mine, for I have more gold than anyone else. In the beginning of the Book of Ecclesiastes, I stated: "I also gathered for myself silver and gold and the treasure of kings and of the provinces" (Ecclesiastes, 2:8). I have "treasure of kings". Treasures of kings are usually objects with high value, meaning they are worth a great fortune. With treasures, one can be extremely wealthy. And since I have those treasures, guess what that makes me? Figure out the math. I bet you can't, because you're not as smart as me.

Jesus: Solomon, common, you do not have the most gold in the world, God does. I did read Ecclesiastes, and I agree to the fact you have a great fortune. However, I do not believe you can compare that fortune to mine. Indeed you have numerous amounts of gold and silver, and you have countless slaves and flocks, but my fortune surpasses all that. Do not forget that I am united with God, the man who created this world, the man who controls everything that happens in this world, the one who contains the greatest fortune of them all! And because I am God, I too have the greatest fortune in the world! There is no one in this planet that can compare their wealth to gold with mine, not even you. Give it up yo.

Solomon: How are you even united with God... I still don't understand how. But I don't want to talk about that right now. How about you explain to me how you could be wealthy without using God in your reason?

Jesus: Well let's see, throughout the Gospels, I have been portrayed as a man who has the power to give water, food, and money to anyone. No matter how many people there are, I will be able to feed every single one of them. In the Gospel of Matthew, I have shown this power by feeding about five thousand men. I was able to give enough food to feed five thousand men, and even have twelve baskets full of leftovers. Five thousand men, dude. Now tell me, does that not make me wealthy? I don't think you are able to feed five thousand men. Correct? I think so!

Solomon: To me, that just shows that you are able to perform miracles instead of having wealth.

Jesus: Miracles also shows wealth! It shows that my wealth exceeds to the point where I can make anything happen and give people what they want, such as food, water, and money. I am God! Just deal with it! God possesses everything: glory, power, authority, honor, money, wisdom, and our lives. If it wasn't for God, you wouldn't even have this fortune on you, now would you? It is God who gives everyone what they possess now, including your money.

Solomon: Oh really now, how did he give me money? And also, why would he?

Jesus: Well I bet you asked for it. And he is God, what can't he do? Use your brains, smart one. Anyone would be able to guess that I'm the wiser one out of us two.

Solomon: Wait wait, hold up. How are you wiser than I? I am known to have "acquired great wisdom, surpassing all who were over Jerusalem before me, and my mind has had great experience of wisdom and knowledge" (Ecclesiastes, 1:16). I quote myself, "surpassing all who were over Jerusalem". How can your knowledge surpass mine? There is just no way.

Jesus: Nope, there is a way! If you are so wise you should already know the answer to this question, since I practically just talked about it like one minute ago.

Solomon: Shut up and just answer the question.

Jesus: And I see you don't have any proper manners as well. Alright, well, I am God. He is the wisest man in the world, and because I am God, I too have the greatest wisdom. If it wasn't for God, you wouldn't have the wisdom that you have today.

Solomon: What are you talking