Arthur Dimmesdales Journal

Journal One

On this fateful day of June 1942, I am unable to come to terms with reality because of what I have witnessed. Having known Hester Prynne the same way a man would know his wife, it was torturous to see the innocent woman suffer the consequences of my actions, and sin. While the society has found the woman to be guilty of adultery, I am unable to reconcile my thoughts. This day Hester was ashamed and disgraced to the public. The people in the society understand that she has committed a despicable sin.

The sight of this woman, a person I know so well, was the source of my torment, a feeling of guilt and dishonor. I would see my own blood flowing in the body of the helpless child. With Hester taking the scaffold, feelings of dishonest and morbid apathy flowed deep in my heart, and I felt that I had equally sinned. I am to be ashamed, punished and even imprisoned. One thing I was unable to withstand is that I am a callous sinner who deserves 'equal' punishment. While standing in front of the congregation, I could not help as a great deal of anguish flowed in my veins. I could not withstand the thought that I was equally responsible as Ms. Prynne. I was an equal accomplice and desired to be punished.

The most painful experience was to see Hester struggling with her conscious after being cajoled to name the father of the 'illegitimate child' by the name Pearl, a lovely and innocent girl. She did not name the irresponsible father, something that deepens the anguish in my soul. I could not endure the occurrence as the crowd cursed and showed their anger for the woman they believed to be reckless and without dignity.

Journal Two

For the past few days, I have been struggling with the predicament and fate of the human soul. As a Puritan, I am unable to find a solution to my own problems while I deceive and make others trust me as their spiritual father. The thought of Hester and my daughter comes into my mind every time without notice. The thought keeps on reminding of the sinner whom I am. Though I know how it is hard to live such a painful life and in prison. I also understand the challenges facing this family and I am unable to help. I cannot help thinking of the pains and issues that affect Hester in the prison cell.

My thought of Roger Chillingworth does not do me good. I am unable to confess and yet I cannot control what Hester says to him should she get the chance. This sin keeps on reducing myself to a lesser person. It is the source of my weakness. I am prayerful that soon I can have the courage and zeal to confess and ask for forgiveness. I cannot help to think of what many people would think of the person they have seen as a religious leader, a great man, and truly a Man of God. I have sleepless nights, I try to cry and think of any idea that can help me deal with this sin. But, it all appears to be in vain.

Journal Three

Pearl, my lovely daughter! Pearl has grown so fast. She is the child I would dream to have,