All It Took Was one - Personal Essay

All It Took Was One

As I came in to the classroom, there they were--all my classmates staring at me as if I didn't belong in this world. Excluded from their group, I sat in a corner alone believing it was my fault they didn’t want me around. 

Once, when I asked one of the groups if I could join them, Erika retorted,  “You have to be smart to join!"

When I replied, “I am smart, so can I join?”  She shouted, “No, you can’t!” as her friends sneered.

After that, I felt all alone again.  "What a fool I was! I should have known she would do that, so why did I bother asking?"  Soon my tears started to fall because my classmates were still whispering mean things and glaring at me. I just wanted to be their friend, but they clearly wished I never existed.

"Why do you treat me like this? All I am is a ghost that you can’t see!”  I yelled.

 I had never ever felt so lonely and had never cried in front of classmates before.  I felt so embarrassed, so lost. I didn’t know how to start a conversation with them. I was depressed and angry at myself. But no one knew or cared about who I was or how I felt. I was lost in a world where nobody liked or cared about me.

The same thoughts kept repeating, "How will I live if they keep on bullying me? I know they will just continue. No one is going to stop them, Not my teacher, not even my family.. Everyone on earth wants me to die because of the mistakes I made. I really hate myself!  I can't stand being like this anymore.  I don’t want them staring at me. I don’t want to lose hope, but will they ever accept me?"

In those days, I was so lonely that I wanted to kill myself.  But I told myself that I had to live for the sake of my family.  As time passed, I was mostly alone, sitting in corners where no one would know me.

Two years, I graduated from elementary school and started high school. The first day of school was good. I met many new classmates. They all seemed very nice, especially one girl sitting next to me. I thought she could eventually become my friend, so I felt happy again.

Not long after, we met again at her birthday party. My mom had met her mom at a parent-teacher conference. It turned out we were neighbours, but I hadn’t realized it.

My mom told me I had to play with her.  

“But I don’t even know her name and haven’t talked to her since school started.  How can I play with her if she doesn’t even know me?” I protested.

“She will play with you because I already talked to her mom about you,” replied my mom.

“Wait! You already talked to her mom? Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” I demanded.

“Because I want it to be special,” she responded as tears welled up in her eyes.

“Sorry I  am making you feel bad. I know you want me to have friends, but you shouldn’t do it this way. It will make you feel even worse if you keep surprising me like this. You know that, don’t you?” I said firmly.